Yes You Can! Why Enthusiastic Consent Is Easier Than You Think
A must read.
“But suppose you do find it hard. How can you make it easier? First, you need to get used to talking to your partner/s in bed – I mean, have an actual conversation. Ditch those hollywood ideas about perfectly synced-up effortlessly sexy uber-romantic simultaneous orgasms, and throw out those literary-fiction tragic-wah-wah deep and serious silent sex tropes. (I assume you already know that pornography in general is also an appalling model for your sex life.) You’re not in a movie and you’re not characters in a book. You’re just people! Talk to each other!”
“Sex is an activity that you do with other adults by mutual agreement because you enjoy it. There is no higher aim. Your partners are not complicated puzzles that you have to decode – they are people, and if you want to know what is up with them, you can just ask them.”